Trump’s Re-Election and the Inevitable Decline of the USA: Why We Left
 

On November 5th, 2024, while half of America was celebrating the resurrection of the Orange Antichrist, we were busy plotting our escape. Not a vacation. Not a sabbatical. An exodus. Destination: Mexico.

I didn’t just read Project 2025, I dissected it. Annotated, highlighted, and ran it through enough AI simulations to make ChatGPT beg for mercy. And guess what? It’s not satire. It’s the Heritage Foundation’s diabolical dream diary. It’s a blueprint for turning the United States into a Christian Taliban theme park, where every cabinet member is a Fox News flunky and the “Unitary Executive Theory” turns one orange narcissist into a make-up wearing Fuhrer.

Trump, of course, isn’t Machiavelli. He’s barely literate. The true masterminds are the Heritage Foundation’s humorless zealots, like Russell Vought – the Project 2025’s author and now, conveniently, the guy in charge of the entire U.S. budget. Because apparently, the apocalypse needs an accountant.

So, realizing that America had officially gone from “land of the free” to “land of the fascists” we decided to GTFO.

We still had a lease on a mansion in Texas, because if you’re gonna flee a failing empire, you might as well do it from the pool. We were out by late January 31st, pets in two and tequila-ready.

On January 28th, we crossed the border in a Tesla Model 3 packed tighter than a MAGA rally porta-potty: one dog, one cat, and a trunk full of hope (and way too many chargers). Immigration didn’t even glance at our passports. I half expected them to wave us through with a “¡Bienvenidos! Gracias por traer sus dólares antes de que el dólar muera!”

But within weeks, the floodgates opened. Americans. Rich, poor, woke but not broke, started fleeing like lemmings from a flaming Walmart.

​

📈 Newsweek: “2,300% Increase in Visa Applications After Trump Victory.”
💰 Barron’s: “After Trump Victory, America’s Wealthy Surge to Buy Golden Exit Visas.”

 

Translation: The lifeboats are full, and they’re made by Tesla.

 

Our move wasn’t flawless. The movers, in true cartel cosplay, demanded 50% more money mid-shipment because apparently “extortion” is just “customs with charisma.” Our furniture, somewhere between Laredo and Limbo, has been stuck longer than a Senate bill on gun reform.

So as of March, I’m writing this from a half-furnished house, sipping mezcal, surrounded by boxes labeled “URGENT: BATH TOWELS,” trying not to think about how many MAGA hats will be left behind when the next civil war starts.

 

My Situation is… Unusual

I’m married to a brilliant Mexican woman, run a successful virtual consulting & legal recruiting firm, and have worked remotely for over a decade. So unlike most refugees from the Republican Reich, I landed on my feet.

We didn’t move here because of the low cost of living - though that is nice. We came for to escape what I can tell you will include all the strategies employed by Hitler in the 1930’s. Everything from replacing cabinet members and military leaders to putting the military in the streets for protection. I’m not exaggerating! That’s all coming.
We could easily live cheaper, but we love our luxuries: a spacious home, a local country club, and enough fresh guacamole to justify the gym membership we’ll never use.

If your dream is a pastel-colored casita by the sea where you drink beer with your toes in the sand…. AWESOME!!! Good for you and enjoy! To each their own. We’ll toast you from our terrace with a glass of Macallan and mutual respect.

 

Some Things Are Universal

Our experiences here? I’ll be chronicling it all! The hilarious, the humbling, and the horrifying. From when my barber offered to “blow me” (spoiler: it involved a hair dryer, not a scandal) to lessons learned about bureaucracy, bribery, and blended margaritas.

You’ll get practical expat advice, irreverent humor, and an honest peek into life south of the collapsing border, where freedom feels freer, the food tastes better, and no one’s trying to legislate your uterus or your library books.

Welcome to The Expat Executive.
Because some of us decided to live in the free world… before America stopped being one.